fire!

March, friday 5th

I'm all fired up! After i decided to start to write yesterday, all i could think about was " i have to make this work!" I spent my day on Microsoft Word fixating the luminescent white screen page. Yes, i HAVE TO make it work...
Finally, after a few hours and teary eyes -- its tiresome to watch the computer screen for a long time-- i made the decision to write little articles instead of pages of... well, i don't know what i wanted to write in the first place. Now i have it, at least i had it until 5 in the afternoon when the phone rang.
" Yeap?"My voice is cold and dry.
Golden rule: make people feel they're calling you during a busy time. Makes them uncomfortable so shorten the conversation.
"Hi! to you too, dear Sis."
Hearing Miss C's voice at that moment made me realize that I didnt see her the day before... And i really didn't know how to feel about her calling me from work. No, i knew, i felt nervous. What was she up to?
"Didn't hear you come back yesterday."
"I came back late and you were dead on the sofa. Didn't want to wake you up. You looked really tired."
I could have swore i was hearing concern in her voice. But i was also hearing an alert bell ringing in my brain. Something was wrong.
"..."
Trust me, no answer for her is also an answer. She has the amazing ability to make a whole conversation by herself, whatever you say she'll hear whatever she wants to hear, so no answer is still an answer.
"Did you make yourself at home today?
Translation: "Did you do some cleaning?"
" I was a bit busy today..."
"You know there is the little room."
Translation: Don't even think about putting your stuff all over my place. You can use the room, but don't touch or move my things!
"ok."
"What do you wanna eat tonight?"
Translation: you pick, you make it.
I was sensing the trap but didn't know were to land. So i went with the returning question.
"And you, what do you wanna eat?"
I was saying it when i realized how stupid i was. Dang!
"Did you hear about that new all around the world food stuff?"
"..."
I could feel her coming.
"Of course you must know, you coming right from Japan!"
I could hear her foot steps clearer and clearer.
"I saw them trying that dish on Tv this weekend on channel 6." She went on. "You know the food tv show they have on the weekends? It looked reeaally good. Anyway, cook whatever you like, i'll be home around 8h30. Oh, and while you at it you'll need to do some shopping, the house is empty. I made a list and put it next to the fruit bowl in the kitchen. See you later, sis."
She hung up without waiting for a potential answer. She knew as well as I there would be no answer. She had made herself clear: Clean the apartment, put your stuff away, i dont want to see them when i get back. Don't touch, move or think about moving my stuff, fill the refrigerator and cook!
It was 5 something and i had 3 hours and half to get it done. Since i was on the computer i went on the net to check the tv show web site to find the recipe of her stupid dish, she didn't talk about it just to make conversation, printed it out, tucked my stuff away in the 'little room' which was wearing its name better than the last time i saw it. The room wasn't that small initially but with the junk piling up there it was definitely smallER than i remembered. Thank goodness she hadn't put anything on the bed...yet. I seriously had no time to worry about it or the writing that i'd just got started. So i ran to the kitchen to find her stupid list next to the equally stupid fruit bowl which was as stupidly empty as the refrigerator. She had left one of her credit cards (one good deed does not redeem it all) on the insanely long list.
I could feel my heart racing, smoke coming out of my ears and fire in my guts... or was it hunger? Art does definitely not feed its man, or woman in that instance, and i realized that except for sleeping on the couch and glaring at the computer screen i had done nothing in almost 24h including making my pearls shine or removing dead cells off my face. Disgrace! But i, once again, realized that i had no time to save people from old body odors. Dang!
Came back after 6 to find out that the neighbor loved jazz music, in fact i 'm fairly sure the whole floor knows the neighbor loves it. I started to get my cooking on so i could get on the cleaning part while the kitchen appliances were getting their part of the job done. Really i dont know how i got through the whole ordeal without burning the food or the neighbor's stereo down. 21st century and they didn't know anything at all about earphones? mental note: get ear plugs!! who knows if it's not a one time thing like a my-partner-who-hates-jazz-music-is-out-of-town-lets-enjoy thing.
8:30 came, laughed at my face and left promising to be back again the next day and the Corporal chef was not there yet. It was almost 10 when she arrived her 10 inches high heels in her hand, her makeup still as fresh as if she had just painted it on and her ensemble without a wrinkle in sight.
"You tidied the place up a bit, didn't you?"
tidied? TIDIED?! I did the whole cleaning rescue thing!
"What is smelling that good? you cooked? great! too bad i'm too tired to have some of it... should make it again sometime. I'm going to bed. kiss darling. By the way, did you clean the window?"
What? the windows? the WINDOWS?! Was she telling me to get the windows done the next day?!
I could feel it. My hands were shaky, my face hot, It definitely WAS fire in my guts!